Finnish comedy maestro Ismo takes the stage for his first full English comedy special, breaking down the sheer, terrifying absurdity of moving to the United States. Armed with an excellent vocabulary but zero knowledge of cultural shorthand, Ismo delivers a masterclass in literalism, detailing how America’s language, optimism, and bedroom habits make absolutely no sense to a guy from the Nordics.
In Finland, Ismo grew up with exactly two acronyms: UFO and HIV. When he moved to America, he discovered a completely different dialect consisting entirely of capital letters that locals expect foreigners to understand instantly.
Ismo's First American Interaction:
"Yeah, I'm going through TSA at JFK. You want a PBJ? I have a PhD and I take CBD for my ADD."
โ
โผ
Ismo: "Is this English?!"
The confusion only escalated when it came to official paperwork and regional slang:
D.O.B.: His first official form just read “D.O.B.” without explanation. His best guess? “Dead on the beach.” ๐๏ธ
The W9 Conflict: When a comedy club told him to fill out a W9 for the IRS, he asked what the [ __ ] that was. The manager corrected him: “You should say WTF.” Ismo’s reply: “What the [ __ ] is that?”
Regional Confusion: Landing in Vancouver, he was asked if he’d ever done a show in “BC.” Ismo replied, “You mean more than 2,000 years ago? I was young, but busy.” In Detroit, they told him to go to the “UP” (Upper Peninsula). He assumed they were just describing bodily functions: “Yeah, and I also poo.”
Determined to survive in the “Land of Acronyms,” Ismo created a handy mnemonic device using the melody of the Alphabet Song:
“A-B-C, N-B-C, H-B-O, M-T-V… P-T-H-D from D-M-V… D-U-I with S-U-V… I-B-S, O-C-D, F-Y-I… S-T-D.” ๐ถ
Ismo openly admits he sucks at sleeping, a condition made worse by hotel rooms illuminated like a casino in the middle of the night.
To get zero photons on his eyes, Ismo has to perform a nightly tactical teardown of his hotel room:
Pillows rammed against the window curtains to cover the light gaps.
Clothes hangers with clips keeping the drapes completely sealed.
His pants draped perfectly over the television set to cover the blinking standby light. (“[ __ ] that red dot. I donโt want to sleep with the eye of the Terminator staring at me.”)
Ismo is fundamentally baffled by the American king-size bed, which provides a massive mattress but only one shared blanket.
| Bed Region | American System | Finnish System |
| Blanket Count | 1 Giant Blanket ๐ | 2 Separate Blankets โ |
| The Result | Partner turns $\rightarrow$ You wake up furious. | Complete, localized climate control. |
| Marital Status | “You can still [ __ ]… it doesn’t prevent that.” | You actually sleep well afterwards. |
When Ismo asks hotel receptions for a second blanket, they never send the nice comforter. They send “the shitty, gray, sad, worn-out blanket that Columbus brought here.”
The worst part about insomnia isn’t the tirednessโit’s talking to people who sleep well. Ismo notes that if you tell someone you have hemorrhoids, weight problems, or schizophrenia, you get empathy. If you tell someone you can’t sleep on a plane, they brag: “Really? Well, me, I can sleep anywhere!”
Ismo wants to test the “sleep anywhere” theory with a localized experiment: Face down on the railroad tracks, hands tied behind the back, with a baseball bat in their [ __ ]. Letโs see if they snore through that.
As an outsider, Ismo views common English phrases with a beautifully literal eye, leading to mass misunderstandings:
“I’m not going to lie…” An airport worker said this before giving directions. Ismo was stunned: “Thatโs nice! Why are you even considering lying? If you lie, I miss my flight!” He later tried the reverse on someone who asked how they looked: “I am going to lie big time. You look alright.”
“Why buy the cow if you get the milk for free?” Ismo panicked, thinking American grocery stores didn’t sell milk and heโd have to lease a cow. Upon learning itโs a marriage metaphor, he found it incredibly unromantic: “Save the date, I’m buying a cow.” ๐
Mother Insults: In America, saying “I [ __ ] your mom” causes furious fights. In Finland, Ismo claims they’d just be thrilled for her: “That’s awesome! She has been very lonely. You really took one for the team.”
“Old-Fashioned Girls”: Following a peaceful divorce after 13 years of marriage, Ismo entered the modern dating pool. A woman told him she was “old-fashioned,” which is dating code for โyou pay for everything.โ Ismo was confused: “Oh, okay… so you donโt shave? Or you canโt vote?” When she insisted it just “felt right” that he pay, the traditional fantasy quickly hit reality.
